Wednesday, 5 June 2013

Day 16

After I took Zoe to school, I went home and fell asleep for about 3 hours. Not sure why I was so exhausted, but it did me good. Zoe and I had lunch and by that time, the clouds that had completely covered the sky this morning had cleared and the sun was blazing again!
I went to Cully briefly to exchange Zoe's school show tickets (Valerie couldn't make it on the date that I'd bought the tickets for. Not sure if this means I can still go as I don't really want to pay 18FR myself to go... harsh as that sounds, I'm here to make money.) I sat by the lake, but hadn't anticipated the heat, so went and sat in the garden in far less clothes, with good music and a cold can of coke to keep me company. It's not like the view from the balcony is any less beautiful.
When Zoe got home from school, we had a swim in the pool in the garden. We were probably only in there for 20 minutes, as Zoe soon began to feel really cold. I gave Zoe some nutella on toast when she complained of being hungry, but I blame this for her not eating her dinner. When her dad came down from his study, I thought that was me done for the day. David sent Zoe to clean up some mess she's made, so I went and skyped my friend Alex. David went for a swim, but when he was done, he called me into the living room where he was sat with Zoe. The conversation went something like this:
"Beth, Zoe is unwell. She has been sat here for the last hour [it had been about 25 minutes, half of this time she was cleaning] while you've been on the phone to your friend. You're supposed to take care of her until I take over, but she's been sat here on her own."
Me: "I'm really sorry, I thought that when you came down from your study, that you had taken over..."
David: "No, I take over at 7.30, I was  having a swim."
I just apologised loads. I had assumed that David had taken over when he'd finished work. I felt terrible for Zoe too. She'd said "hello" to Alex on Skype, and then I assumed she had continued with her tidying/playing. She hadn't mentioned that she was ill.
"I'm taking over now," said David.
I felt like a fuck-up again. I waited until David had put Zoe to bed and apologised again, he thanked me for my apology and we talked about other stuff, namely Zoe's upcoming show.
I fell in love with this boat that passed by the house!
I've noticed we don't talk a lot unless it's about Zoe. Instead of the "big sister" that I'd intended to become (which is the relationship that many au-pairs have with their families), I'm more of a live-in childminder. It's a strictly employer-employee relationship, bar the odd, awkward conversation about walking or something. Rarely do we talk about our personal lives. Valerie and I have had a few nice conversations; but the friendship with the parents just hasn't blossomed as I'd hoped it would. 
The fact that I'd got the chance to chat with Alex meant I wasn't too down. He's also Welsh, so I got to drop my put-on accent that I have while I'm here, as no one would have a clue what I was saying otherwise.
I made a flask of chamomile tea and made my way to the little "beach" down the road to watch the sunset. (In Aberystwyth, Tuesday nights are usually spent drinking copious amounts of cheap vodka, so chamomile tea and sunsets are a bit of a shocker!) I think I'll be making a habit of this, as the view was utterly breathtaking. 

Pictures can never capture the beauty of such perfection, but I tried.

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